I need NOS...

Nitrous Oxide : colourless chemical compound that boost cars and makes you laugh = Awesome..

Ever wondered why people are so gloom as they grow older? Maybe it's not applicable to everyone but I sure do fall into the same category.

I forgot when was the last time I sat around talking about things that don't particularly make much sense and laughing our guts out... Hell I don't even quite remember when i last talked to any of my friends even about some less nonsensical stuff.. 

Suddenly I miss school, I miss my Uni days.. It wasn't much to reminisce on but it sure hell beats now.. All that i think of lately is what am I gonna do after work; when is lunch; is weekend coming soon; when am i getting a raise.. 

I miss my pair of red shoes that I used to wear to class everyday.. Now I don't even wear them on weekends. 

I miss laughing... not the 'lol' kinda laugh.. but Real laughter... one that is audible.. or not when it gets too funny.. My sense of humor is going .. I don't know what amuses me anymore..

I miss playing guitar.. what a transition has taken place.. left uni and thrown into a world of uncertainties, true friends are gone or going.. more decision makings.. less people to talk to.. less things to talk about.. some things are not expected to be talked about or shared.. clients to please... policies to abide to.. regulations to comply.. bills to pay... hours of Jam to drive through.. Hell i don't even have my xbox to kill artificial intelligence.. 

I even realize that my boss is just like my PSM supervisor.. correcting my language in a correspondence letter i typed.. and his command of language is only mediocre.. and surprisingly i didn't find that too hard to bear. Well i guess that was exactly what i was prepared for.. Uni is a place to prepare us for these after all. 

One has to wonder if this is only a phase in life.. Will it get any better from this point forth? or is it really just gonna go downhill from here following the orthodox paradigm of life.. 

Life doesn't suck that much when it's only just a phase.. 

But when there's nothing much to look forward to.. 

The losing of hope is the end for anyone.. 

I don't wanna live like that.. 

One does not simply live without Electric Guitars and Amps..

I wanna get an amp.. I fucking NEED one.. 

This is just another mistake that I'm gonna make and wake to regret.. at least until the next paycheck..

I made one too many bad decisions in life.. What's another..