I posted a daily bread entry and finding every opportunity to praise the Lord and wish to bless others as well but I was questioned. not just once but thrice about what timing is right. as if I needed a valid reason to praise the Lord.
I missed many Sundays and I haven't been to church for a while. and I was determined to go and some how something has to drain me enough to not have the energy to wake up for church.
The effort and attempt to fight the inclination to blame God for my unaccredited degree, the stagnation of career for the week doesn't seem to matter. Despite all that I did to try to draw near to God, and HE couldn't make sure that I have strength to run back to HIM. I find it hard to believe that HE's reaching out to us right now.
Me trying to give her heads up about delays of buses anticipating impatience and unrest, trying to be strong for her ended up with a misunderstanding. My desire to give her the best to pick her, thinking she's taking a bus to KL instead and then back home via train was seen as an inability to comprehend messages.
More than 5 hours spent driving that day didn't seem like a big deal apparently. Or maybe I should be flattered cuz I was expected to be able to handle that kinda wear.
I'm not Happy.
I know that life is never a bed of roses.
I'm just trying to salvage joy. Every bit that life can spare.
But I guess trying is never enough..no amount of that is ever enough.
Trying is the biggest illusion in life.
We're all caught in a same rat race. Running and trying in circles but never gets anywhere.
Trying creates an illusion that someday we might get there.
Never stop trying... now I know what it means..
cuz trying Never Stops.. The need to try is because you're not there.
If you never stop trying, you'll never get there.
The damn irony..
Maybe it's the late hour but I'm not too sure,
cuz that made perfect sense to me right now.
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